Sunday, April 12, 2015

Calling all sockpuppets

.....You suck. Hah.

Did you know that Fur Affinity, that nightmarish vast carbuncle of furry fan art, was recently bought by a net marketing firm? And the fox-suited freaks are not happy. Play, tiny violin.

And speaking of freaks, there is now a gay furry fantasy role-play game. It's called Willy Bear Beach. Go ahead and spend $15 if you want to see cartoon anthro bears engaged in anal sodomy.

The Guinness World Records company is (a) no longer affiliated with Guinness beer, (b) was originally started by a guy who was a raving ultraconservative bigot who hated Irish people, and was gunned down by the IRA for his trouble; and (c) is now marketing its "records" to corporations. Otherwise there's nothing at all wrong with Guinness World Records.

Think Canadians are more polite than Americans? Not necessarily. Especially when they go to a remote fishing lodge.

And if you've ever wondered why Japanese manga became so popular in the US, there was a major impetus for it: piracy.

Yes, sweetums, the New York Times cannot be trusted to speak honestly, especially when it comes to Israel-Palestine disputes. For example.

And if you think ultra-orthodox Jews aren't insular, consider the story of Kiryas Joel. This part was especially "charming": "This poverty correlates directly to the fact that virtually none of the women work full-time jobs, and a significant number of the men devote most of their lives to studying the Torah and Talmud; not even 40 percent of them have the equivalent of a high school degree, and the low levels of English proficiency make them further unemployable."

Betcha didn't know the "trollface" meme is copyrighted. And the original creator is suing people.

Even the pathetic poor rural county I live has problems with corruption and favoritism. Consider this story. And people keep telling me that Judge Rick Martin "isn't such a bad guy". Hah. Even the governmental corruption here is chickenshit and petty.

And if that's not pathetic enough, try this guy.

Then go to Ratcave and get an earload about Jesus. You deserve it.

Monday, March 30, 2015

The Dark Gorge Rises

Fuck the Zuck! Fuck the Zuck!!!

Brooklyn, summarized in one little video.

If you're a law-and-order type, you might go and thank the FBI for doing genius this. Feel safer now?

Guess what one of the hottest smuggled contraband items is now? Pez dispensers.

Metafilter Is Shit: Yep, Terry Pratchett kicked the magical bukkit, and the whiners whined.

Wanna see something even dorkier and Aspier? This guy just had to connect his sad old Mac Plus to the web. In order to do that, he programmed a Raspberry Pi -- a far better computer than the Mac -- just to translate Ethernet to serial RS232 and filter the HTML so the absurdly primitive MacWeb browser would work on modern sites. With no pictures, just text.

Russians! They're awesome!

"Swatting" is now so popular and commonplace, the New York Times is complaining.

Sweet, ain't it? Support Ratcave or we chop off your mother's penis.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A classic cartoon about furries

Actually, this is what the entire Internet looks like. 

Only the cartoon heads and the paraphilias change.

Sunday, March 8, 2015


Ever tried inserting Unicode characters from OSX? It works -- sort of.

You can tell you're on Reddit, when you see really stupid shit from college boys.

Very impressive. $5200 for a "coffeemaker".  Garish, difficult to use, impossible to keep clean. Run right out and buy one.

Smile, the FAA is still hopelessly outdated. You can now go to Flightradar24 and instantly know more than any air-traffic controller in the United States.

This nice young man posted a collection of concert tickets his father saved. In the 1970s dad saw popular heavy-rock and MOR acts of the day. In the 80s he saw James Taylor, Heart, and George Strait. Then there's a break until 1997....then dad started watching middle-aged whiteboy jazz like the Rippingtons, Old Steely Dan, and (ugh) Michael McDonald. Conclusion: Dad is a giant crashing bore.

Please do not tell me that academia is "egalitarian" and "honest". It's just as corrupt, snobbish and incompetent as everything else.

Everybody loves, because it's the world's biggest collection of freeware and shareware for Windows. And it was safe software too......until recently. Sorry.

Oh, this country is not fucked? What about this and this?

Didn't everyone do this?

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Back with more GIANT TITS

I'd feel sorry for her, but we all get screwed in the manner we deserve.

Did you know that former football great Deion Sanders started a private school? And that he's running it into the ground? And he's doing it on reality TV? Neither did I. However, that fact that Dallas is a shithole has not escaped me, so none of this is really surprising.

Just a reminder: Facebook is still not your friend.

"“AmEx’s cachet with the affluent is not what it used to be,” said Jason Arnold, an RBC Capital Markets analyst. “AmEx has always enjoyed king-of-the-hill status, but that’s changed. They’ve seen more competition in the upper-end, and they recognize that they have to go elsewhere to fill that gap.”" Hah. Fuck you, American Express.

Metafilter Is Shit: the most-popular thread on Feb. 20 (by far) was this. And just like clockwork, the fucking dickweeds started arguing over the Monty Hall problem. Again, as they always do when it is brought up. Smart people often have tunnel vision and are thus not as smart as they think they are.

And should you ever need some Hindustani obscenities, here's a handy list, courtesy of a Reddit thread. Now you can go to Varanasi and get the shit beaten out of you. Better yet, tell Jimbo Wales these are complementary words. He goes to India frequently, and with any luck the shit will be beaten out of him instead.

Haramzada : Bastard
Harami : Ill-begotten or a Bastard
Bhadwa : Pimp
Madarchod : Mother fucker
Bhenchod : Sister fucker
Bhonsdi ke : Whore's Husband Or Someone born from a rotten pussy
Gandu : Ass, to describe someone stupid Example: Arrey Gandu dekh ke chal, meaning "Look and walk you dumb ass"
Chutia : Pussy
Kutia, Raand, Randi, Bitch, Rakhail & saali : Whore
Maarna, Lena, Dena, Bajana, Phatna : Mostly contextual, on the lines of "Put it up", "Take it in your mouth"

Thursday, February 12, 2015

"Social media" SHIT. All SHIT.

Think not?

Consider what happened to Justine Sacco.

And what continues to happen to Anne Hathaway.

Someday, I predict that Facebook and Twitter will either be outlawed, or subjected to heavy government regulation. So rub your Facebook stock certificates in your asscrack with slow satisfaction, because they won't last.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015


 How pathetic is the movie business? This pathetic.

If you think Harvoni is expensive, imagine needing to take ecumizulab.
Plus, one of the drug-company researchers has been editing the Wikipedia article.

 Oh, Bitcoin. You give us such lulz.

Hey, lady, don't hang out with web billionaires.

Not only is Winnipeg a frozen shithole, it's got other problems.

The My Little Pony shit just keeps getting shittier.

Insane Artist Corner:
A brilliant animator you've never heard of: Felix Colgrave.
He posts his work on YouTube because nobody cares.

Albuquerque! Such a nice place!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

This is what $30,000 looks like.

That's what a 28-day bottle of Harvoni costs at retail. It's the first really effective treatment for hepatitis C, and Gilead Sciences is charging more than $1000 per pill because they can. And despite its enormous cost, it's quickly becoming the top-selling prescription drug. (At least, that's what people without health insurance pay. People on Medicare pay "nothing", the government pays and it comes out of everyone's taxes. And people in countries with a national health service pay a tiny fraction of the American price, because other countries won't allow a drug manufacturer to screw people using patents. What, don't you enjoy being screwed?)

Hilarious LA Times article about the "drug war" in a "decaying area"; where I live. And PS, Rob Brown is an asshole.

Bay area "foodies" are disgusting. They cause idiocy like this to happen. Plus, foods that only poor people ate before, like kale and collard greens, are now being "gentrified". So fewer people can afford them.

If you think 4chan or 8chan are misogynistic and depressing, have a look at Wizardchan's "depression" section. A haven for the most antisocial, arrogant nerds you've ever seen. After that, no one can complain about /b/ ever again. (And yes, I know that moot recently "retired". Wish he'd take his dedicated fans with him.)

Something I bet you didn't know about Charlie Hebdo: they hated Apple, because Apple would not sell Charlie Hebdo on the Apple Store without reserving the right to censor it. And here are some of the cartoons they drew about the dispute.

Now it's being claimed that Miralax might cause autism in children. Everything causes autism, according to autism "experts" like mothers with autistic children (cough Jenny McCarthy cough).

Walmart is your friend. Walmart will not hurt you.

Why aren't you going to Ratcave? Are the beavers ruining your paradise?

Thursday, January 8, 2015

I heart your poopie

Yes, people get lost trying to find offices in the European Parliament buildings. A likely warning sign of a failing bureaucracy.

Pop quiz: who in this story is more pathetic, stupid and insane, the animal-rights people or the cops who spied on them?

"Data mining has become so sophisticated that campaigns can now target voters by mashing together public records with much more personal information from Facebook feeds and consumer reports that offer such nuggets as who has sterling credit ratings but hasn’t purchased a car in seven or more years. One company even wants to get into the political market by selling campaigns data that identifies which voters sought information on Viagra and other erectile-dysfunction drugs." So? Just vote dickless.

"What To Do When You Discover Your Co-Worker Writes Erotic Hulk Fanfic", my ass. If you look into Archive Of Our Own closely, you will find a story about the Hulk trying to stuff Loki up his ass. Fan fiction reaches its pinnacle of development.

Elana Pritchard, blah. Old Dick, yech.

2015 isn't especially wonderful so far, eh?

(BTW, if you love to read about Reddit's general idiocy and madness, try r/redditcritiques. We're posting our considerable database of Reddit scandals there, slowly. Feel it.)

Monday, December 29, 2014

Merry Ass-Fisting Day! Enjoy your milkshake!

Yes, that image was posted on 4chan. And it got some attention. (In fact, you'd be shocked to learn how many idiot pud-yanker manchildren maintain "cum jars". They honestly think their semen is "special" and "important", so they try to "save" it.)

Been on a commercial airliner lately? Wondered why all the "special fees"? It's because they're the only way the airlines can generate a good profit. And that's for one simple, harsh fact: no matter how much they complain about poor service, Americans want cheap fares above all. Live free or die, fuckers!

Violence! Crime! Terror! Bullshit!!!

Mr. Seastrand doesn't need to worry -- all he has to do is move to another state, and they'll probably make him a sworn police officer in no time. This "never be allowed to serve as a police officer again" crap only applies in New Hampshire. Then he can go back to doing disgusting things to teenaged girls.

"PlumpJack Winery in Napa Valley, the first high-end American producer to take a chance on screw caps in the late 1990s, was scorned for making the switch.
"We got faxes and voice messages saying 'Your career is over,' 'It's a screwy idea' and that restaurants would have to start charging a 'screw fee,'" said John Conover, PlumpJack's general manager." Yes, the wine business is (still) full of screaming cunt-boys.

Don't forget to donate to the Scrotum Warmer project.

And here's something to chew on for the new year:

"I'm a male in my early 20's. If you were to ask me who I am, the 1st thing I would instantly say is "I am an anal vore fanatic". It's who I am. It's my identity. Anal vore is my life, and it felt important enough for me to tell my friends and family."

What is "anal vore"? Look around Eka's Portal for a while and see for yourself. "Vore fetishism" is just as popular as "bronyism", but even more underground. And how does your insanity compare to that?

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What is the "point" of this? There is no "point". I suck, you suck, la la la.