Saturday, July 26, 2014

It was only 105 degrees today. Vomit.

Do not move to San Francisco. In fact, do not even spend money in San Francisco. Because.

iOS developer Jonathan Zdziarski discovered that iOS has several major security holes, things that governments and "black hats" could use to spy on iPhone and iPad users. (needless to say, Apple denied everything.) He posted it on his blog, which has been crashing ever since due to massive traffic.

"Buried within the American World Airline Awards, touchstone rankings for the airline industry doled out at the Farnborough International Airshow this week, is a trend America’s coach class travelers may find vindicating: among the ranks of global airlines, their nation’s airlines boast the world’s most uncomfortable seats."

 "Since many Americans don’t like picking out bones and are squeamish about eating something with its head still on, they need their seafood broken down and packaged before it hits the frozen section of the grocery store. But deboning and filleting fish is a lot harder to mechanize than, say, carving up a chicken or a hog. So the US has outsourced the vast majority of its processing capacity to places like China, where labor is relatively cheap."

"NLCHP says an overwhelming increase in urban homelessness after the recession and a widespread initiative to revitalize cities’ downtown areas incited the crackdown on the homeless."

And so much for !!'Murica!!! 

Need reminding that Glenn Beck is nuts? Okay!

Own a strip joint? Need liability insurance for it? You might want to avoid Jeff Cohen's company.

And should you need a gynecologist, you might wish to try someone other than Dr. Nikita Levy.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

just another happy day dance around in the sun and DIEDIEDIE

Today, an airliner full of people was shot down over Ukraine, and Israel started a ground invasion of Gaza. But what does the San Jose Mercury-News care about most of all? The new football stadium.

Recently Harley-Davidson showed off an experimental electric motorcycle. And predictably, the fat over-40 whitebread assholes who constitute the Harley fanbase started bitching and whining. Bonus: This popular Harley blog didn't mention it at all.

Before you carry your precious musical instrument onto a commercial airliner, you might read this, and this, and this, and this. Evidently the TSA doesn't like metal, either. Have a nice flight, taxpaying sucker.

Like near misses? Have one.

Now, this is how you watch baseball: baked.

If you like to read books about nuclear weapons and reactors, have I got a place for you.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Hail America, full of ASS

Enjoying your holiday? At least your name isn't Darren Rainey.

At last, someone's done posterity a great favor. By documenting the origin of those pissing-Calvin stickers.

Something to really celebrate!
Dickey Scaife died on the Fourth of July!
Eat ass in hell, Dick!

Don't fool yourself, Mr. Doctorow. I suspect that NSA employees are laughing at you right now. And so am I.

And as predictably as shit follows coffee, Terry Pratchett announced that he wouldn't be able to make the next Discworld Convention, and his dork fans threw hysterics.

Meanwhile, this was the top thread on Metafilter today.

Hurricane? What hurricane?
Go to Ratcave and eat your hurricane ass.

Friday, June 27, 2014

Let's pull those manginas together!!

I wish I was making this up. Sorry.

Heard of "Pink Drift"? "PinkDrift is a subsidiary of YOLO Restaurant Group, LLC." 
Okay? Does that not "inspire"? Sadly, the city of Santa Rosa was not "inspired". 

Easily one of the most disgusting documentaries ever made: Born Rich, a smug little compendium of poor-little-me snivellings by the actual children of billionaires. Made by Johnson & Johnson heir Jamie Johnson. And being given away for free on YT, because after all, he's rich. As one of the comments says: "Everything out of their mouths reeks of megalomania. I cringed for most of the duration of the film." There's the one percent for you.

"Selling for around $16,000, Cobalts were popular with teenagers. The first death linked to its switch came in July 2005, when a Maryland 16-year-old, Amber Marie Rose, crashed her red ’05 into a tree. The airbag did not deploy. Although reports streamed into GM about moving stalls and disabled airbags for years, the company waited until Feb. 13, 2014, to issue a recall." Go ahead, buy that used Chevy Cobalt.

If you like free books, Andrew Holloway has posted his memoir of working in North Korea in the 1980s online, and asks nothing in return. And remember, this was when Kim Il-Sung still ran the country, and before his son ruined the economy and caused 1 million people to starve to death.

What is the "black hole of American comedy"? My bet would be on the only-occasionally-funny 1990s HBO series called Mr. Show. It has proven to be a "watermark" and a major factory for comedians. See for yourself. (The "Lie Detector" sketch is probably the best. Bob Odenkirk is God. Big fuckin' deal.)

Are American police becoming more brutal and militaristic? You could always ask the former Attorney General of Utah -- after he had his house trashed by a masked SWAT team. Which included threatening his 17-year-old daughter with assault rifles.

Insane Artist Corner: this blog is full of beautifully drawn "art".  Hope you like gay furry porn.

And finally, for you bronies: a series of My Little Pony torture games.

Feel the love and sweetness.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Yes, Grumpy Cat is going to be in a TV movie. Gaaaag puke.

Proof. I pity that poor little animal.

Should you need some evidence of the extreme and hopeless dorkitude of Reddit users, consider this thread. A neurotic compendium of printing errors in an edition of one of the most nerd-loved books ever written, David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest.

And btw, this was one of the busiest threads on Reddit today. As with most Internet fora, they love to gawk at the misfortunes of others. And make douchey comments.

Job interviews reward narcissists? Bullshit. Every aspect of our corrupt culture rewards narcissists. And we all pay the price.

Even Steve Coogan thinks Jeremy Clarkson is a twat.
So why is Clarkson still one of the BBC's biggest stars?

Insane Artist Corner:
First, consider Chicks with Stevebuscemeyes.
Then, ponder this.
Hope he sues.

What else?

Oh yeah, don't forget to donate money to the Autoblow campaign.

Monday, June 9, 2014

it was only 105 degrees today woohoo

Fuck you, Bill Watterson.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

And fuck Metafilter too.

Yes, Mr. Brin, you are also a shit.

Everyone will be pleased to know that Poop Report, a joke website dating from 2003, is still in operation, and still being updated. They have users and everything. Shocking.

Oh oh oh, I'm so negative!! Why am I so negative!!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014



Gawker ran this, about how VICE employees were getting screwed, and Shane Smith was just another money-grubbing, duplicitous, corrupt media mogul.

And VICE responded, in a subtle way, with a friendly little number called "Fuck You and Fuck Your Garbage Click-Bait 'Journalism'". In which they bragged about their employee fringe benefits, but failed to mention or address the other accusations in the Gawker piece. (As you well know, Gawker's mad dictator Nick Denton isn't exactly as pure as the driven snow himself.)

Predictably and tiresomely, there was some "media reaction". I have no idea who the hell Rick Tulsky is, but he must be important. Or something.

Now, wasn't that bracing and refreshing?

What, not "bracing" enough? How about Nick Denton's Twitter, which hasn't been updated since March 2007? Oh, wait, that's right, someone hijacked his name back in 2007. This is Nick's "real" Twitter account. Never mind.

How about this: you can now purchase the top nine floors of the old Woolworths Building in lower Manhattan. As a "condominium". It's only $110 million. Making it possibly the most expensive condo on earth.

You'll no doubt be deeply pleased to know that the Meatmen have a new album coming out! Have a look at the first video! Yes, kids, Tesco Vee now looks like an angry grandfather, ha ha ha!

Ever wondered how US federal income taxes have changed over the last 150 years? Our little friends at Intuit will be happy to tell you. Yes, you tax-hating pussies, current top tax rates are nothing compared to the period from 1933 to 1980.

And as Aaron Swartz's former girlfriend Quinn Norton will tell you, everything is broken.
Thanks a lot, lady.

Go ahead, explain this away.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014


It seems that famous political cartoonist Ted Rall has been reduced: to posting shit like this on Pando Daily. Poor Ted.

You think you've got Windows problems? Consider what happened to Emory University the other day. (Not mentioned in the mainstream either; instead, they were flapping their arms over this. Hope she knows how to back up her work files.)

How much would you pay for this, shit-muncher?

And now for political content. (fart)

Ever seen the "Tea Party News Network"?

It almost looks like an Onion parody of an ultraconservative news blog. So stupid, so biased, so angry.

Run by Scottie Hughes, one of those dumb/attractive blondes who routinely decorates Fox "discussions". Apparently with (inadequate) Sheldon Adelson money. And mostly written by Matt Burke and his wife. He was a massively-failed teabagger candidate for congressman in Washington in 2010.

Can't help it, I keep reading TPNN as "Toilet Paper News Network". Tell me again that America is not going down the shitter.

Friday, May 16, 2014

(no title)

You can kill 20 people in the bay area and the news media there will barely mention it. But kill some birds, and......

On the other hand, there's Texas.
Okay, that's enough about Texas.

Can't forget Florida, can we? I can.

Yes, kids, Actresses Without Teeth is still there, and still being updated.

r/spacedicks was made for you.

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What is the "point" of this? There is no "point". I suck, you suck, la la la.