Monday, April 21, 2014

Oh, say can you see....

Yes, rich people do rule. And you've got no one to blame but yourselves, you poor dumb pathetic inadequate assholes.

Fuck this little hipster prick.

One Of The Greatest Consumer Products Of All Time: a pocket flask made out of an old Nintendo cartridge.

Insane Artist Corner: Coloring Book Corruptions.

Wanna see a video of sixteen people dying in an avalanche on Mount Everest? Okay!

Good damn reasons to move to Alaska or Nevada: these maps. Not good enough? How about the density of Waffle Houses?

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Wednesday, April 9, 2014


 Should you ever require proof that "freethinkers", "atheists" and "skeptics" can be every bit as petty, stupid and insane as anyone else, read this.

I've seen all kinds of blogs, from reasonable to pathetic to crazy to stupid. But this one has to be the screechiest blog I've ever seen.

Anyone who follows the gaming world has probably heard of the "GAME_JAM" fiasco that occurred about 2 weeks ago. If not, read this and this to get a full dose of the disaster. There's even more laughter behind the curtain: the arrogant marketing guy whose moronic, sexist, abusive babbling caused GAME_JAM to collapse, Matti Leshem, has a Twitter. Which has not been updated since March 12. Yes, you fucking pussy, run and hide. (Of course Matti has a Wikipedia article, which he appears to have authored himself.)

Ever heard of a Japanese "lowbrow" artist called Rockin' Jelly Bean? He likes to wear a Mexican Luchadora mask. Because he thinks he's wacky. (Not wacky enough for Insane Artist Corner, though.)

And speak of the devil, Insane Artist Corner: it forever belongs to whichever nameless Hollywood lunatic built this thing. And yes, poor Hasselhoff needs money, so buy his idiotic crap.

Ya like close-up video of cat's anuses? Try this one.
Yes, your eyesight is going. The Big Dark is sneaking up on you.  Run and hide.

Monday, March 24, 2014

Golden showers are a daily occurrence here.

So, you think Albuquerque isn't really all that bad of a place to live? Perhaps you should take a close look at their police department before moving there.

Could be worse -- you could be in Alabama.

There are some strange Jews in New York. But then, there are strange everything in New York. And speaking of which, consider the plight of the poor little trust-fund brats who are "stuck" in the Upper East Side, ever so far away from all the action. Poor little assholes.

Climb inside that giant colon! Yeah!!

In case you wondered how many complaints the FCC gets about South Park, here is a compilation of all the complaints from 2008 to 2012, just from Denver. Warning: 100 pages.

Tesla cars are bad, I tell you, bad! Awful and satanic!!

Care to guess which company is the worst employer in America? How about Dish Network?

(What's your excuse? At least he's getting exercise. You, on the other hand, are so lazy and unhealthy that your eyesight is starting to go. This text is not any bigger than usual.)

Support the Ratcave, dammit. Again.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Scott DeLong: turd of the internet.

Still think the economy is "doing well"? Ask Joe Williams.

Who doesn't love asscrack photos? For example, this guy went to a Magic: The Gathering meeting in Virginia, and had an endless supply of hairy buttcleavage. Yum!

If you think BuzzFeed is stupid, try looking at ViralNova sometime. And as it turns out, it was founded by another snotty manchild, one Scott DeLong. He's the same guy who started the infamous "snuff video" site Nothing Toxic. (And now he "regrets" doing it. Riiight.) Yes, there are worse people on the Web than Jonah Peretti.

Didja know that nearly all the ATMs on earth are still running Windows XP? Still think the clowns who run major banks are "not such bad guys after all"?

The world continues to go to shit, and what do the fuckers in Snobby Wine Country worry about? "Someone burgled my summer vacation home!" Oh oh oh that's terrible!

Go and look at Flight Radar 24. An extremely cool invention. (Beware, it is one of the most Flash-heavy, resource-using sites I've ever seen.) Unlike news sites, it shows you where the air traffic, and therefore the real money, is: in the eastern US, western Europe, the Persian Gulf, and East Asia. And not in Africa.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Sergey Brin has a tiny little penis. It looks like a clit. (I heard!)

Time for an American breakfast. Dammit.

Ever heard of Babymetal? Well, now you have. (Do NOT watch those videos. I repeat: Do NOT watch those videos.)

Everyone talks about what a "hero" Glenn Greenwald is, for having the guts to take on The Man and spill the NSA beans. Yet not everyone loves him. Funny that. Ha ha.

Can you ignore the "Call of Catthulu"? I thought not.

Metafilter is Shit: just another '80s icon dying, and leading to shrieks of whiny lameness. It got more eyeballs than Alec Baldwin, though.

For decades, wealthy people have been able to literally buy themselves Canadian citizenship. The price was $1.6 million plus investment in native businesses. You can thank this program for the mobs of Chinese from Hong Kong who now live in Vancouver and parts east. Sadly, the new conservative government has put an end to the program, to discourage immigration. And who complains? The Chinese who were about to enter the program, of course. Isn't that friendly?

(Why are they in such a hurry to bail? Perhaps this will give you some idea.)

"As for Larry Davis, he will now spend the next few months getting his arrest record wiped clean. In addition to that, he will file a grievance against the Austin Police Department and the officer who arrested him. KVUE notes that as they started to investigate the manner, Travis County prosecutors dismissed the case completely." Could be worse, he could be a high-school student. God Bless America!!! Eat shit and die!!

Insane Artist Corner: I don't know who Curt Sibling is, but he rules.

And now for my blog's first, last and only goddamned fucking "trigger warning". I would like to beat the shit out of some Metafilter dorks. That is all. (buyahamsterthongdammit) (gotoratcavefuckers)

Saturday, February 22, 2014

Man: the only primate that willingly lives in its own filth.

Don't believe me? Try this Reddit post for a nice example. ('Murica!) Yes, the "man of the house" was cooking meth in the basement. ('Murica!!) This is how people often live, if given half a chance. ('MURICA!!!)

And no, it's certainly not exclusive to 'Muricans.

Thinking of advertising on Facebook? Don't. Because this guy found out the hard way, that Facebook "likes" are completely untrustworthy, and Facebook does not permit third-party audits of their ad traffic. I would not be surprised to learn that Facebook employees or contractors were generating these phony user accounts, deliberately. Until auditing is forced onto major Web advertising firms, massive abuses will occur. The magazine publishing business tried similar scams prior to WWII, until circulation auditing was implemented. And so, the Web is condemned to repeat history. Just one of many reasons I keep criticizing Facebook, and will continue to do so. ('Murica!)

You can't trust Buzzfeed either. Thus. Zuckerberg, Jonah Peretti, Henry Blodget, all the same: slime.

Why dontcha go to Nigeria for a vacation? It's not that bad.

Insane Artist Corner: you might like Josh Cooley's posters. They're cute.

The world continues to go to hell, and what do the elderly fucknuts in Sonoma get angry about? An ice cream parlor with a pink door.

Are the one-percenters laughing at the rest of us? You bet. And some of them are doing it in drag.

And how do you like your Capital One credit card? Nifty, ain't it?

Did you know that you can now take official tours of the Hanford Nuclear Reservation, the world's most dangerously polluted piece of land? You might want to ask Donna Busche about it. If you can find her.

Metafilter Is Shit: they recently ran a sad story. And managed to utterly trivialize it, in their distinctive fashion. Metafilter isn't about stories and links, it's about neurotic, narcissistic dorks trying to get "validation" for their neuroses. Of course, some of them had to track down the victim's real name and splatter it on the thread. And just to further underline MeFi's user issues, consider this: some of them are rabid Madonna fans.

In case you didn't notice, Scotland is on the verge of voting to leave the United Kingdom. And what does the British government do? They make petty threats.

I've got four words for you: Edward Snowden action figure. Yes, they also have a Julian Assange figure.

Support Ratcave, or I'll sic Facebook's lawyers on you.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Will you be my valentine, you shit-eating Lego pervert?

"The New York Observer has learned over the course of interviews with more than two-dozen current and former Times staffers that the situation has “reached the boiling point” in the words of one current Times reporter. Only two people interviewed for this story agreed to be identified, given the fears of retaliation by someone they criticize as petty and vindictive." Ha ha. Fuck you, Thomas Friedman.

Tell me again what a "cool place" Japan is. Go ahead. (Even their music composers hire ghostwriters -- and pay them badly.) And yes, the English are not much different.

Even Utah and Texas have enacted so-called "911 samaritan laws", to try to prevent some drug-overdose deaths. But the Deep South, hells no. It's like 1969 all over again: "Jesus wants you filthy hippies to die!"

Insane Artist Corner: whoever was responsible for Goat Simulator deserves a nod. It is currently one of the world's "hottest" games, according to the massive coverage it's attracting, anyway. One would think it was Halo 4.

Sometimes, the decline of civil liberties leads to blogs like Nannying Tyrants. Make of it what you wish.

One the major reasons Phoenix sucks is the pathetic, incompetent way they "developed" their freeway system. This is the best write-up of it I've ever seen, by one of the very few bloggers who covers the actual, dark history of "America's Fastest-Growing City". Growth is good, growth is right, Jesus saves!

If you need to post stupid animated GIFs, consider Exploding Actresses as a source.
You're welcome.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Have a seat!

A clever new idea for marketing Japanese "idol singers": since much of the current candidate pool is overweight, like Americans, the exploitative bastards at Avex had the bright idea to call them "marshmallow girls". In America, these girls would be seen as "normal", but in Japan, they're attacked for being "different".

By the way, Chubbiness has a website. (Don't click on that!)

If that's not the insane Japan you expect, go to the Thunderbird Cafe for lunch. 

Think you've got problems? At least surgeons haven't injected glue into your brain.

You didn't know this: in places like Singapore and Malaysia, the hottest toys are in McDonald's Happy Meals: figurines of the minions from Despicable Me. These stupid pieces of plastic were so "desirable" last summer, people bought the meals and threw the food away. In countries where other people are starving.

There are dumb blogs, there are horribly-stupid blogs. And then there's "The Healthy Honeys".  (Do not click on that!)

Insane Artist Corner: go ahead, explain the concept of Prismgirls to the rest of us. Please.

Why is the cost of health insurance rocketing up, after "Obamacare" was implemented? You can thank Anthem for part of it. (And their owners, WellPoint, have one of the most hostile and negative Wikipedia articles I've ever seen for a corporation.)

Last week California media would not stop screaming about the worst drought in the state's history. This week, it's raining like hell. Thanks, Bill!

Go to Ratcave, you dildos. Read it. Believe it. Internalize it. Crap it out your asses.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Why don't you pray to Jesus for snow tires, you pieces of cornbread shit?

The storm that hit the happy-love Dixie this week was comical. Not the storm, the panicked idiocy that millions of pussy-whipped Southerners displayed when there was ice on their precious freeways.

Politicians under fire as icebound U.S. South gets relief

Note: "When she got back in the car, the battery died before she could roll the window back up.
"It was pretty rough on her. She started crying for a second, and I told her to get a hold of herself," Andrews said. "She never lost (cell) phone service, and she was able to talk with me and a lot of her other friends. "She had her Bible. So she wasn't mad. She was just cold.""  

Instead of dealing with it, they hid in their cars or workplaces or schools, and whined. Via cellphone. Thank Jesus for cellphones.

Note: "Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal on Wednesday had blamed the National Weather Service", who gave him 36 hours worth of warning, and he did fuck-all.

Note: ""Government's primary role is to protect the people; Nathan Deal has failed miserably once again," said candidate David Pennington, who serves as mayor of Dalton, Georgia." Who was probably just as guilty as Deal -- of refusing to implement disaster planning.

For decades, the "good Christian" citizens of suburban Georgia have bluntly refused to pay for any regional planning for their transportation systems. They've also refused to expand the public transit systems, because the white Georgians hate the black Georgians, and don't want "those people" in "their neighborhoods". They simply took Federal monies, built freeways, and allowed the city to sprawl outward, randomly in all directions. Because Jesus told them to?

Ask Jesus to salt the highways for you. 
Ask Jesus to pay your taxes for you. 
Tell us again that global warming is a "myth".
Fuck y'all. 

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